Love helps me move forward.

Love.
When I was younger, I never imagined that I could have fell for someone as hard as I have. I never imagined that I could have someone who I’d do anything for, someone who I thought about every waking second of the day, someone who I’d be there for throughout anything. Someone who makes me smile and laugh everyday, despite how low I am.

Depression is one of the hardest things I have had to experience. For the past 5 years, I’ve struggled with depression and for the past year I have been spiralling further and further into the deepest depression that I have had yet. But on June 9th, I met him. The person who saved me.

Maybe that sounds cliché. But I can promise you that it’s true. I was thinking all kinds of things before I met him, but now I rarely think that because whenever I enter those thoughts I see his face and it stops me. My family and friends help too, of course, but I can’t lie and say that he didn’t stop me from falling over the edge. Because he did. And I am so grateful.

Even though I often give up on life completely and convince myself that there is no point whatsoever in trying to move forward, he helps me. Even without saying anything, he just stops me from thinking so negatively. I still have my moments, that’s inevitable, but he stops them from happening so often. For that, I will be eternally thankful.

I love him more than words can even explain. Not just because he helped me and saved me, but for so many reasons. He is just perfect for me. Sure, he’s a weirdo sometimes but that is one of the things that I love most about him. His dimple that he only has on his left cheek, how long his eyelashes are, the way he always wears a hat, his hair, his green/grey eyes, his perfect smile; and that’s only his appearance. He’s convinced that he’s fat and ugly, but he really isn’t. My eyes see no flaws.

He makes me happy, and he’s the first guy I’ve ever truly felt comfortable with. I can tell him anything and I know that he won’t judge me. He’s funny and he’s so caring. He’s one of the nicest people I have ever met and knows exactly how to cheer me up. He puts up with me even though I know that I must be annoying and so difficult to handle.

The only problem is that we can’t be together yet. The distance is difficult and I truly hope we can overcome it. Because even though it has only been a few months, I love him so much and I can truly see myself spending a lot of my life with him. I never want to lose him.

I never thought that love could be this amazing. But it is.

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